Posh afternoon tea without the luxury price tag

Somewhere to slow down, eat cake and relax in old-school comfort

Cocktail o’ clock: an outdoor terrace made for the late-afternoon sun, sipping Old-Fashioneds

Introvert rating: 🌿🌿🌿 3/5

Quiet is not guaranteed here - there are peaceful corners and sound levels vary throughout the lounge

Food: Afternoon tea (classic, gluten-free and vegan) are all EUR 35. Wine, beer, cocktails and champagne all reasonably priced, Individual dishes and desserts are also available,

Parking: There are 3 car parks nearby, all within a couple of minutes’ walk

Entry fee: FREE - cheapest drink is tea at EUR 4.50 (3 cups)

Toilets: Gorgeous! They are themselves an event

Opening times: 8am to 10pm, with afternoon tea served from 2pm to 6pm

Booking line: +356 2122 5241 (if you want to reserve a table in advance - you don’t have to, unless you want to bring your dog)

Places as grand as the Phoenicia can feel intimidating, but the Hospitality team here are on your side. Despite the grandeur, the uniformed doorman and greeting staff are warmer than the movies would have you believe. That’s what I love about this place; it exists to make you feel special. And I do, walking up the steps, literally getting the red carpet treatment, passing through the gold doors and into the lobby where an excited bride beams. It’s golden.

Beauty in the lives of others: the lobby sometimes plays centre-stage to people’s special days

You never know what’s going to happen at Phoenicia’s Palm Court Lounge; it looks different every time. New baby announcements, christenings, weddings, birthdays and artworks flow through this space, changing the mood each visit. What the lounge does offer is an elegant, Sunday-afternoon comfort that won’t break your wallet.

Vinz and I always come for the afternoon tea, served from 2pm to 6pm. There are three kinds, all priced the same per person with cheeky options to add prosecco (EUR 6 addition) or champagne (EUR 17 addition) if you’re feeling saucy. The tea and wine sections of the menu are extensive and dazzling. My favourite is the jasmine flower tea which tastes light and flavourful while giving me the drama of blooming in hot water before my eyes. Luckily, the Hospitality team are on hand to answer all your questions on their array of teas with the help of a tea-laden trolley for you to peruse them all.

If you don’t fancy a whole afternoon tea, you can enjoy single dishes (EUR 15-23) and desserts (EUR 8-14) which include individual pastries in the display, classic scones with cream and jam and fresh fruit. There is also a page in the menu dedicated to cocktails and mocktails (if alcohol is not your thing).

If none of that was enough, a pianist serenaded us on a baby grand piano with popular songs and theme tunes ranging from Bohemian Rhapsody to movie tracks. (I think I spotted one from ‘Forrest Gump’.)

Now for the bathrooms…

Feel like a princess on your way to the aptly-named cloakroom: the bathroom is an experience

Am I dedicating an entire section to the bathroom? Why, yes I am. It deserves one. If you wander over to the other piano, you will see an entrance that someone somewhere put actual thought into. So let’s stop for a moment and admire the symmetry, the warm lighting, the exoticism of the tall plants, the lone piano. This is just the beginning.

A glimpse into an oasis: you’ll be thinking of excuses to go back

An arty cockatoo watches over the soap and moisturiser: for deliciously-clean hands

The lounge was 80% occupied when we arrived. We’ve never had to book, but it’s worth doing, especially if you want to bring your dog. (Pooches of all sizes are welcome but the team needs a heads-up first.) This isn’t the kind of place that tries to pack people in; there are 2-3 metres between tables and even those hosting a celebration are never too loud. There was a general chattiness across the room but it didn’t disturb us. A couple of toddlers were roaming around (one with a balloon almost as big as he was) but they were supervised by their grown-ups.

Vinz complained about the AC, which was pretty strong. I loved it because I’m going through the hot flashes that come with menopause. We swapped seats. It was fine.

If you don’t fancy sitting in the centre, there are less conspicuous places at the periphery. For a different mood altogether, take the short passage through to the Club Bar adjoining Palm Court Lounge, which has a deeper, darker, calmer feel.

For a more sedate, private club experience: order your Singapore Slings here and settle in for a languid afternoon

The Club Lounge serves cocktails to the outdoor terrace… but not today; it was too windy. We did take a peek anyway and were blown away (pun intended). The terrace can hold a dozen tables, each for 4-5 guests and the views over the garden and harbour.

Warm but windy: incredible views for cocktail & mocktail drinkers

Sip & chill alone or with friends: a sun-filled terrace with a view

A garden worthy of its own blog entry: yours to explore

Casual conservatory life: ideal for celebrations and long lunches

A quieter corner: the best seats in the house for people-watching